第121章
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The contents of this letter threw Elizabeth into a flutter of spirits,in which it was difficult to determine whether pleasure or pain bore the greatest share.The vague and unsettled suspicions which uncertainty had produced of what Mr. Darcy might have been doing to forward her sister's match, which she had feared to encourage as an exertion of goodness too great to be probable, and at the same time dreaded to be just, from the pain of obligation, were proved beyond their greatest extent to be true!He had followed them purposely to town,he had taken on himself all the trouble and mortification attendant on such a research;in which supplication had been necessary to a woman whom he must abominate and despise,and where he was reduced to meet,frequently meet,reason with,persuade,and finally bribe, the man whom he always most wished to avoid,and whose very name it was punishment to him to pronounce.He had done all this for a girl whom he could neither regard nor esteem. Her heart did whisper that he had done it for her.But it was a hope shortly checked by other considerations, and she soon felt that even her vanity was insufficient,when required to depend on his affection for her—for a woman who had already refused him—as able to overcome a sentiment so natural as abhorrence against relationship with Wickham. Brother-in-law of Wickham! Every kind of pride must revolt from the connection.He had,to be sure, done much. She was ashamed to think how much. But he had given a reason for his interference,which asked no extraordinary stretch of belief. It was reasonable that he should feel he had been wrong;he had liberality,and he had the means of exercising it; and though she would not place herself as his principal inducement,she could,perhaps,believe that remaining partiality for her might assist his endeavours in a cause where her peace of mind must be materially concerned. It was painful, exceedingly painful,to know that they were under obligations to a person who could never receive a return.They owed the restoration of Lydia, her character,every thing,to him.Oh!how heartily did she grieve over every ungracious sensation she had ever encouraged,every saucy speech she had ever directed towards him.For herself she was humbled; but she was proud of him. Proud that in a cause of compassion and honour, he had been able to get the better of himself.She read over her aunt's commendation of him again and again.It was hardly enough;but it pleased her.She was even sensible of some pleasure,though mixed with regret,on finding how steadfastly both she and her uncle had been persuaded that affection and confidence subsisted between Mr.Darcy and herself. She was roused from her seat,and her reflections,by some one's approach;and before she could strike into another path,she was overtaken by Wickham.
“I am afraid I interrupt your solitary ramble,my dear sister?”said he,as he joined her.
“You certainly do,”she replied with a smile;“but it does not follow that the interruption must be unwelcome.”
“I should be sorry indeed, if it were. We were always good friends;and now we are better.”
“True.Are the others coming out?”
“I do not know.Mrs.Bennet and Lydia are going in the carriage to Meryton.And so, my dear sister, I find, from our uncle and aunt,that you have actually seen Pemberley.”
She replied in the affirmative.
“I almost envy you the pleasure,and yet I believe it would be too much for me,or else I could take it in my way to Newcastle. And you saw the old housekeeper,I suppose?Poor Reynolds,she was always very fond of me.But of course she did not mention my name to you.”
“Yes,she did.”
“And what did she say?”
“That you were gone into the army,and she was afraid had—not turned out well.At such a distance as that,you know,things are strangely misrepresented.”
“Certainly,”he replied,biting his lips.Elizabeth hoped she had silenced him;but he soon afterwards said:
“I was surprised to see Darcy in town last month.We passed each other several times.I wonder what he can be doing there.”
“Perhaps preparing for his marriage with Miss de Bourgh,”said Elizabeth.“It must be something particular,to take him there at this time of year.”
“Undoubtedly.Did you see him while you were at Lambton?I thought I understood from the Gardiners that you had.”
“Yes;he introduced us to his sister.”
“And do you like her?”
“Very much.”
“I have heard,indeed,that she is uncommonly improved within this year or two.When I last saw her,she was not very promising. I am very glad you liked her.I hope she will turn out well.”
“I dare say she will;she has got over the most trying age.”
“Did you go by the village of Kympton?”
“I do not recollect that we did.”
“I mention it,because it is the living which I ought to have had. A most delightful place!—Excellent Parsonage House! It would have suited me in every respect.”
“How should you have liked making sermons?”
“Exceedingly well. I should have considered it as part of my duty, and the exertion would soon have been nothing. One ought not to repine;—but,to be sure,it would have been such a thing for me!The quiet,the retirement of such a life would have answered all my ideas of happiness!But it was not to be.Did you ever hear Darcy mention the circumstance, when you were in Kent?”
“I have heard from authority, which I thought as good, that it was left you conditionally only,and at the will of the present patron.”
“You have.Yes,there was something in that;I told you so from the first,you may remember.”
“I did hear, too, that there was a time, when sermon-making was not so palatable to you as it seems to be at present;that you actually declared your resolution of never taking orders,and that the business had been compromised accordingly.”
“You did! and it was not wholly without foundation.You may remember what I told you on that point,when first we talked of it.”
They were now almost at the door of the house, for she had walked fast to get rid of him;and unwilling,for her sister's sake, to provoke him, she only said in reply, with a good-humoured smile:
“Come,Mr.Wickham,we are brother and sister,you know.Do not let us quarrel about the past. In future, I hope we shall be always of one mind.”
She held out her hand;he kissed it with affectionate gallantry, though he hardly knew how to look,and they entered the house.
The contents of this letter threw Elizabeth into a flutter of spirits,in which it was difficult to determine whether pleasure or pain bore the greatest share.The vague and unsettled suspicions which uncertainty had produced of what Mr. Darcy might have been doing to forward her sister's match, which she had feared to encourage as an exertion of goodness too great to be probable, and at the same time dreaded to be just, from the pain of obligation, were proved beyond their greatest extent to be true!He had followed them purposely to town,he had taken on himself all the trouble and mortification attendant on such a research;in which supplication had been necessary to a woman whom he must abominate and despise,and where he was reduced to meet,frequently meet,reason with,persuade,and finally bribe, the man whom he always most wished to avoid,and whose very name it was punishment to him to pronounce.He had done all this for a girl whom he could neither regard nor esteem. Her heart did whisper that he had done it for her.But it was a hope shortly checked by other considerations, and she soon felt that even her vanity was insufficient,when required to depend on his affection for her—for a woman who had already refused him—as able to overcome a sentiment so natural as abhorrence against relationship with Wickham. Brother-in-law of Wickham! Every kind of pride must revolt from the connection.He had,to be sure, done much. She was ashamed to think how much. But he had given a reason for his interference,which asked no extraordinary stretch of belief. It was reasonable that he should feel he had been wrong;he had liberality,and he had the means of exercising it; and though she would not place herself as his principal inducement,she could,perhaps,believe that remaining partiality for her might assist his endeavours in a cause where her peace of mind must be materially concerned. It was painful, exceedingly painful,to know that they were under obligations to a person who could never receive a return.They owed the restoration of Lydia, her character,every thing,to him.Oh!how heartily did she grieve over every ungracious sensation she had ever encouraged,every saucy speech she had ever directed towards him.For herself she was humbled; but she was proud of him. Proud that in a cause of compassion and honour, he had been able to get the better of himself.She read over her aunt's commendation of him again and again.It was hardly enough;but it pleased her.She was even sensible of some pleasure,though mixed with regret,on finding how steadfastly both she and her uncle had been persuaded that affection and confidence subsisted between Mr.Darcy and herself. She was roused from her seat,and her reflections,by some one's approach;and before she could strike into another path,she was overtaken by Wickham.
“I am afraid I interrupt your solitary ramble,my dear sister?”said he,as he joined her.
“You certainly do,”she replied with a smile;“but it does not follow that the interruption must be unwelcome.”
“I should be sorry indeed, if it were. We were always good friends;and now we are better.”
“True.Are the others coming out?”
“I do not know.Mrs.Bennet and Lydia are going in the carriage to Meryton.And so, my dear sister, I find, from our uncle and aunt,that you have actually seen Pemberley.”
She replied in the affirmative.
“I almost envy you the pleasure,and yet I believe it would be too much for me,or else I could take it in my way to Newcastle. And you saw the old housekeeper,I suppose?Poor Reynolds,she was always very fond of me.But of course she did not mention my name to you.”
“Yes,she did.”
“And what did she say?”
“That you were gone into the army,and she was afraid had—not turned out well.At such a distance as that,you know,things are strangely misrepresented.”
“Certainly,”he replied,biting his lips.Elizabeth hoped she had silenced him;but he soon afterwards said:
“I was surprised to see Darcy in town last month.We passed each other several times.I wonder what he can be doing there.”
“Perhaps preparing for his marriage with Miss de Bourgh,”said Elizabeth.“It must be something particular,to take him there at this time of year.”
“Undoubtedly.Did you see him while you were at Lambton?I thought I understood from the Gardiners that you had.”
“Yes;he introduced us to his sister.”
“And do you like her?”
“Very much.”
“I have heard,indeed,that she is uncommonly improved within this year or two.When I last saw her,she was not very promising. I am very glad you liked her.I hope she will turn out well.”
“I dare say she will;she has got over the most trying age.”
“Did you go by the village of Kympton?”
“I do not recollect that we did.”
“I mention it,because it is the living which I ought to have had. A most delightful place!—Excellent Parsonage House! It would have suited me in every respect.”
“How should you have liked making sermons?”
“Exceedingly well. I should have considered it as part of my duty, and the exertion would soon have been nothing. One ought not to repine;—but,to be sure,it would have been such a thing for me!The quiet,the retirement of such a life would have answered all my ideas of happiness!But it was not to be.Did you ever hear Darcy mention the circumstance, when you were in Kent?”
“I have heard from authority, which I thought as good, that it was left you conditionally only,and at the will of the present patron.”
“You have.Yes,there was something in that;I told you so from the first,you may remember.”
“I did hear, too, that there was a time, when sermon-making was not so palatable to you as it seems to be at present;that you actually declared your resolution of never taking orders,and that the business had been compromised accordingly.”
“You did! and it was not wholly without foundation.You may remember what I told you on that point,when first we talked of it.”
They were now almost at the door of the house, for she had walked fast to get rid of him;and unwilling,for her sister's sake, to provoke him, she only said in reply, with a good-humoured smile:
“Come,Mr.Wickham,we are brother and sister,you know.Do not let us quarrel about the past. In future, I hope we shall be always of one mind.”
She held out her hand;he kissed it with affectionate gallantry, though he hardly knew how to look,and they entered the house.